10/29/14 - All About THAT Marvel Thing, This Morning...

Well hold me the !@#$ down, bend me over, bang me like I asked !@#$ing nicely and don't stop til 2019. 

So, I take it you !@#$ing heard the same news I did, today?

In a word or two, !@#$ing very amazingly happy to see this lineup. This shows that Marvel has not been !@#$ing slacking. It also shows that, after DC threw down the !@#$ing gauntlet, the other week, Marvel was happy to throw down their own, and make it the !@#$ing Infinity Gauntlet at that.

So what am I happy about? Well, the news that we're getting a Black Panther movie has sent me over the !@#$ Moon. I'm also !@#$ing thrilled that we are going to get a Captain Marvel movie, and that it's going to be Carol !@#$ing Danvers, rather than poor old Mahr-Vell.

And getting the Inhumans in there, given the speculation that they'll be using the I-word to explain powers in the MCU since they can't !@#$ing use the M-word? Brilliant. Especially since I have a major fan-crush on Black Bolt.

From "Illuminati." The next panel had me laughing for hours.

 (I'm also happy to see we'll be getting GotG2 a couple months early. Because !@#$ yeah.)

And I am also really, super-!@#$ing happy to see that, starting in 2017, we will be getting three MCU movies a year. Hold up your hands and sing halle-!@#$ing-luiah, boys and girls. 

What am I not happy about? Well, !@#$ it, I want there to be a Black Widow movie. I am !@#$ing sick and tired of excuses. Scarlet J has shown us that she can !@#$ing carry a movie, and it's time we got to see Natasha on her own, kicking !@#$.

I'm also a little !@#$ed about the casting on Black Panther. I was hoping for someone like Chiwetel Ejiofor or Djimon Hounsou. Then again, I'm willing to give their casting a chance. So far they've made good !@#$ing choices.

So, based on what we know, let's play SPYGOD PREDICTS!

"Future movies such as these will affect you in the theater."

And here's the story I'm seeing happen, here:

Avengers 2: Age of Ultron: Bad !@#$ goes down. The team gets split over what happens.

Ant Man: light hearted caper !@#$ that will probably lead to our hero joining one side or the other.

Captain America: Civil War: Cap tries to find Bucky, but the conflict that happened in Age of Ultron leads to Tony and Cap butting heads over who to serve in the meantime.

Doctor Strange: Trans-cosmic magic stuff that may or may not have a !@#$ thing to do with what we've seen so far, but will probably feature at least one Infinity Gem.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2: More space craziness, with a possibility of them running straight into Thanos, and having to get the Collector along for the ride to get to those stones before purple-face does.

Thor: Ragnarok: Well, we know the !@#$ing Infinity Gauntlet's in the treasure chamber along with all that other crazy !@#$. And Loki's on the throne pretending to be Odin. And Asgard isn't doing too well after Thor II. So how much do you want to bet Thanos shows up, stomps the place flat, and takes a stone and the gauntlet?

Black Panther: Well, Cap's shield is busted, and he needs vibranium to fix it. Will T'Challa be happy about that? Will he join a side in the Civil War? Or will he be the one who helps !@#$ing end it?

Avengers III.1 - Infinity War: The !@#$ hits the fan. Thanos comes to Earth to take a final Infinity Stone from wherever the !@#$ it is (Doctor Strange? Loki's Staff? Something else?) and it's all we can do to keep him from leveling the place. Clearly we need help, which may come from the Guardians of the Galaxy at some point.

Captain Marvel: We get some more help, courtesy of Carol Danvers, who either gets some Kree powers by way of the same !@#$ that's going around Marvel's Agents of Shield, or some other way. We get some cosmic !@#$, either way.

The Inhumans: More help, I'm sure. Are they the result of Kree experimentation on humans? Or something different? I'm suspecting they'll have come out and taken a bow before then, but hopefully we'll get the full !@#$ing monty, here, as they join forces with our heroes to help deal with Thanos.

Avengers III.2 - Infinity War: All hands combine, Thanos gets taken down, people die and !@#$ goes boom, and then... ????

Past that, I need more !@#$ing beer, and a look at Phase 4.

But this has been an amazing !@#$ing day, folks. Keep watching. I think MCU is poised to knock DC off its pedestal, again.

What all do you think, Agents? Are you salivating or reserving judgment? Any movies you could do without, or want to see in there? Are you down with the casting choices and sequence of films?

And do you not agree with me that we need to start making "Katee Sackhoff is Captain Marvel or we RIOT" shirts?

I mean, Jesus !@#$ing Christ. Separated at Birth or what?

10/28/14 - Moon Knight - From the Dead (Marvel)

What do I think about vigilantes, son? Well, how about we say I hate vigilantism but love a vigilante, to twist a !@#$ing phrase?

What, that's not !@#$ing good enough? Jesus, son. Make me get all !@#$ing technical, here.

Well, how about this, then: I'm !@#$ing conflicted. Vigilantes are as American as apple pie, and a !@#$ vital part of our culture. But, as the person who's got to !@#$ing oversee our nation's superheroes (and, yes, take them out on occasion), they're a big !@#$ !@#$ing pain in my !@#$.

You see, people say they love superheroes, and most of the time they do. Especially when they !@#$ing save your town, your house, your !@#$, or just get your kitty cat out of a !@#$ing tree.

But when they have to trash your town in order to !@#$ing put down a bank robber who can pick up vaults with his pinky finger? People get a little less appreciative.

Yeah, next time? Just call 911. We'll all be better off. Really.

No !@#$, son. On good days I joke that half the !@#$ing job is phone calls, the other half is logistics, and another half is public relations. But on bad days, when I got every !@#$stick politico looking for an issue, muckraking reporter in search of an expose, and maybe even the !@#$ President himself calling me to complain that Captain Wizz-Bang flattened !@#$ing Arch in St. Louis while punching it up with Dr. Fisticuffs?

Well, let's just say I don't !@#$ing feel like making jokes, son. I feel like shooting things at people. Especially Captain !@#$ing Wizz-Bang and his tendency to punch first and look where he's aiming people second. (!@#$hole.)

So if that's the kind of nightmare I have with people I can visit at 2 in the !@#$ing AM, and take to god!@#$ task for demolishing national monuments, or half of !@#$ing Denver, imagine what it's like to take the heat for people I can't.

"Badges? I don't need no stinkin' badges!"

Now, some !@#$hole wants to run around long island in his long-johns with a mask on his face and smack muggers with a a god!@#$ baseball bat? I can live with that. But when he's packing guns even the !@#$ cops can't carry? Bringing sophisticated combat machinery and technohoziwhatzits into an urban environment? Leaving crooks and human trash broken and bleeding all over the streets?

Well, theoretically I'm supposed to go visit that son of a !@#$, lock him the !@#$ down, and drag him in for a laundry list of crimes perpetrated in the pursuit of whatever they might call "justice." I'm also theoretically supposed to be having my own heroes !@#$ing watching for such people, so they can bust their !@#$es before it gets to that point. 

Theoretically.

But then I remember that one of the best, most decent heroes I ever worked with, The Owl, was a vigilante, too, technically. So were his friends and allies, some of whom were real stars in their day. And I also have to remember that the Black Card (Gods rest his soul), while he was a !@#$ing maniac butcher, was the best weapon I had against the East Coast mafia for decades.

And I have to remember that, while we're all !@#$ing wrapped up with rules, and officials, and PR, and the !@#$ing President calling to complain about having to apologize to the mayor of St. Louis, again, that sometimes we forget that it's all about taking direct action to fix a problem before it gets any worse than it already !@#$ing is.

And I have to remember that even a vigilante has a place in our orderly world. 

And I ain't !@#$ing arguing with this !@#$ sexy hunk of man.

So yeah. I get wind someone new's on the scene? I have one of my capes go pay him or her a visit, see if they're !@#$ing cracked in the head (or more cracked than usual). Tell them to mind how they !@#$ing go. Check in with them, every once in a while. Give them a number to call, be a friend, and give them a good !@#$ing example to follow.

They want to go pro? They can !@#$ing call me. But otherwise, they don't want to see me. Because that means bad !@#$ing news for everyone involved.

And that's the story, son. Technically, I !@#$ing hate it when someone takes the law into their own !@#$ hands, but yet I love the people who do.  Especially when they're so !@#$ing messed up that beating the !@#$ out of skels and crooks is the only way they can make sense of their personal situation. And while that's a major !@#$ing red flag for my line of work, it makes for some !@#$ interesting reading, to say the least.

And that's why I love people like Marc Spector, better known as Moon Knight.

Moon Knight is one of those !@#$ characters that rarely seems to get a fair !@#$ing shake. And part of that's because he's a big !@#$ bag of weird (he started out as a foil for Werewolf by Night, for !@#$'s sake). And part of it's because, given that he is a big !@#$ bag of weird, no one seems to really know what the !@#$ to do with him except (1) ignore the last series and (2) start all over again.

True, some characters and situations keep coming around, as you might !@#$ing expect. But it seems like every new creative team gets told "don't make us cancel him," so they go an entirely different direction to avoid it. Which is all well and good, at least until they stumble the !@#$ all over themselves trying to do that big !@#$ new thing, lose readers like fingers at a leper disco, and then get the book !@#$ing shut down, anyway.

Which leaves me !@#$ happy to see a new series, very hopeful this team's got the moxie to stick around for more than a couple years, and then crying big !@#$ tears every time I get the sense it's about to come crashing the !@#$ down, again.

So what do you do when you have a weird-!@#$ but interesting character that no one knows what the !@#$ to do with? You hand it over to someone who's handled him before, and has a knack for taking Marvel characters on a short, sharp, science-fictiony ride somewhere really !@#$ weird and interesting.

"Shut up and review the !@#$ing book, already, SPYGOD."

And that would be Warren Ellis, who you may remember as being the man whose 12-issue run on Thunderbolts, just after the end of Marvel's Civil War, helped define the aftermath whole !@#$ing storyline like you would not believe. Also the same man who took Secret Avengers for a spin none of us will ever !@#$ing forget, and had us !@#$ing cheering on Monica Rambeau and Aaron Stack for the first time in decades in Nextwave.

(And don't even get me started on Doom 2099, son. Just... don't. Please.)

During his run on Secret Avengers, Ellis had Moon Knight on the ticket. At times he seemed to be the resident loony (and the butt of some of Beast's techno-jokes) but he proved himself a !@#$ good member of the team. However, you kind of got the sense that Ellis wanted to do more with him? Well, here's his chance.

So this is the deal: after hanging out on the !@#$ing West Coast, supposedly with a number of other heroes in tow, but in reality just !@#$ing talking to himself, again, Marc Spector is back in the Big Apple, kicking !@#$ and taking names in a white suit. He's even got a decent working relationship with the cops, which is not something to !@#$ing sneeze at in this day and age.

But now he knows something he didn't know before, courtesy of a shrink he hired in a rare moment of lucidity. It turns out that he doesn't have dissociative identity disorder after all, and can't really be called crazy, as we understand it, which is supposedly "good news." But what it does mean is that, when he died in Egypt, all those years ago, some "otherterrestrial" entity !@#$ed with his head and gave him !@#$ing brain damage.

"Smile" the shrink tells him. Well !@#$ you, too, lady.

Needless to say, this is not good news. But it does explain a few things -- most notably, any number of people and allies he's !@#$ing hallucinated in the past. And so, armed with (possibly) accurate information, our weird and interesting hero wanders into the dark of New York City, and takes on some really !@#$ing weird and !@#$ interesting cases.

If you think I'm going to tell you exactly what he gets up to in these six issues, you are out of your !@#$ing mind. All I can say is that, if you love Warren Ellis, Moon Knight, stories of cracked urban vigilantes, or comics that are fun and creepy at the same time, you need to pick up From The Dead as soon as possible.

Why? Well, let me break it down for you, SPYGOD Style

1) Warren !@#$ing Ellis

Normally we call this "The Writing," but, as anyone knows by now, Ellis is one of those writers whose work you should snatch up on general !@#$ing principle. See his name on the cover? Pick it the !@#$ up. I can't give a higher bit of praise than that.

That said? Ellis is not perfect. He has !@#$ great ideas, but sometimes they're so great that he doesn't mind !@#$ing repeating them a few times, only with different people saying the same things. When he's on form, you don't mind so much, and when he's not, well, you feel like it's deja vu all over again.

From the Dead is very much on form, son. 

So, yes, what you will read will sound (and, yes, look) a little !@#$ familiar in places. But what he does with that familiar ground will be astounding, because these six, stand-alone stories have been honed to razor-sharp perfection.

About this sharp, in case you were !@#$ing wondering.

There's clever misdirection, here. There's little details that you miss the first !@#$ time around and then realize why they look familiar later. There's the brilliant notion of having the whole thing set up in the three panels on the title page, and only knowing what they meant when you get to the last page. And there's some really !@#$ing amazing nods to things gone by, like the resurrection of the old, Bill Sienkiewicz-era SHIELD logo for a logical use, as well as old characters from the previous series, used sparingly and well, and a villain that, unlike Moon Knight, you won't see coming from out of the dark.

In other words, this is Warren Ellis taking a fun character and having fun, and you're invited. But such a party would be incomplete without...

2) The Art

... And what a great artist combo we have here! Thanks to Declan (Deadpool) Shalvey's excellent drafting, and the well-considered color wheel of Jordie (Pretty Deadly) Bellaire, Moon Knight looks truly amazing. The work's well-grounded in a plain, noir realism that makes the deviations from the every day really stand out.

And what deviations we have, here.

Today, Moon Knight punches ghosts. Film at 11.

Some of the !@#$ they threw up at me was so stunning that I felt like I'd accidentally dosed myself with something from the bag Hunter S Thompson left behind, the last time he !@#$ing visited. And the bastard still has my !@#$ing guns, and now that he'd dead I can't shoot him for it. (!@#$hole)

But! Take that as challenge to be amazed. And while you're being amazed by the !@#$ Moon Knight gets up to, you should also take this !@#$ing opportunity to appreciate... 

3) Moon Knight, !@#$ it. 

 

You couldn't pay someone a million !@#$ing dollars and get a better synopsis of a character that has apparently baffled too many creative teams to name. Even Brian Michael Bendis couldn't do more with him than have him be a !@#$ing hero comedy with occasional bits of pathos thrown in. 

But this? This is Moon Knight the way he should be written. 

He's weird, but how much of it is an act is questionable. He's commanding, but that may also be part of the act. He's strong, but he's also all too human. He's smart, but makes some dumb-!@#$ mistakes now and again. He's cunning, but that can also backfire at times.  

And !@#$ but does he have some neat !@#$ing toys.  

And he does what he does because he has to do it, and can't get around it. A vigilante in the purest sense of the word, though his big !@#$ crusade is more about making up for all the !@#$ing red in his ledger, rather than avenging the day they killed his wife, his child, and his !@#$ yappy dog all in one go. That, coupled with the fact that an "otherterrestrial" stuck its !@#$ in his brain and took him for a big !@#$ joyride, makes Moon Knight who and what he is. 

And Ellis takes what he's given and makes it sing -- on key and really !@#$ing loud. His faceted (not fractured) personality allows him to do one issue where he uses weird !@#$ to beat down on weird !@#$, but then another one where he fights his way though less weird !@#$ in a brutal, highly-methodical fashion, and still another one where he handles some weird !@#$ in a weird but ruthless fashion, and...

"You want ruthless and brutal? I'll give you ruthless and brutal!"

Well, I'm telling too much. But yes, there are big !@#$ personality shifts at work, here. But because he's Moon Knight, they work. And because it's Warren Ellis, he makes it work.

The bad news is that, as per Ellis' tendency with Marvel, he only did these six issues, and then handed it on to another team to continue. The good news is that they're building off of what he did, and seem to be off to a good !@#$ start so far.

But even if that crashes and burns like an out of control drone shaped like a !@#$ing crescent moon, we've got this to chew on. Savor it, son. This is about as good as it !@#$ing gets.

The Verdict: Three happy thumbs up for what is, hands down, probably the best tackling of a complex character who's been sadly under-realized throughout most of his life. From the Dead's clever, brutal, and playfully dark script is coupled with masterful art, and the combination makes for a perfect (re)starting point for this vigilante. If anyone tries to spoil it - kill them with fire.

Moon Knight: From the Dead - get the Trade Paperback at your local comic store!

10/14/14 - The Best American Comics 2014 (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt)

Alright, son. Let's have a !@#$ing moment of silence, here, as one of the high points of the year has finally !@#$ing arrived. 

What, my shipment of Martian cocaine finally !@#$ing arrived? Son, that's every !@#$ week. This is a much more important event, heralding two things. 

The first being that, once again, we're !@#$ing acknowledging that American comics are reaching the point where they're being considered worthy of critical notice, as opposed to !@#$ you read on the !@#$er, or that your mom tosses in the trash the moment you !@#$ing go to college, provided you don't spend those years living in her !@#$ basement eating pizza, playing Warcrack, and not !@#$ing getting any. 

(And when she finally kicks your fat !@#$ out, they get tossed, anyway, so get a !@#$ing storage space, son. You'll thank me, later.)

I'm just the !@#$ing messenger, son. Don't hate me.

And the second? Seeing what's really !@#$ing good about a particular year's worth of American comics, broken down by actual experts in the !@#$ field. And that would be actual !@#$ing writers and artists {or writer/artists} rather than high-handed academic types who are probably all !@#$ing commies, trying to get you to read Marxist !@#$ that'll make your brains leak out your !@#$ ears. 

So what's this big !@#$ event that's got me so !@#$ing excited, son? The Best American Comics, that's what! All those great and worthy strips, stories, web comics, and installments, proudly standing alongside such things as mystery stories, American essays, travel writing, and (my guilty-as-!@#$ pleasure) Nonrequired Reading. 

(There's short stories and sports writing too, but who gives a !@#$. Wake me up when William S Burroughs and Hunter S. Thompson come back from the dead, steal a car, eat mescaline-soaked cockroaches off a clown's raging !@#$, and tag-team a second person narrative about !@#$ing covering the !@#$ Superbowl for USA Today, or something. I'm not too !@#$ picky.)

Together, they fight crime. And sobriety. 

Now, for 2014, we got ourselves a real !@#$ing humdinger, son. For one thing, they have a new series editor: Bill Karatopoulos, who's got the !@#$ing chops and the attitude to prove that he's the one for this job -- go check out his website if you don't !@#$ing believe me. No offense to anyone who's had the pleasure of heading this !@#$ing insane juggling act before, but this is the sort of person we need on this title.

And this year he's joined by the one and only Scott McCloud, who some of us actually !@#$ing remember from Zot! but most of you probably know from such important things as Understanding Comics, Reinventing Comics, and Making Comics -- three works that should be on the !@#$ing shelves of every serious comics fan, and are god!@#$ essential to understanding sequential art as a proper, bonefide art form, as opposed to something you read on the !@#$ !@#$er and... well, we !@#$ing talked about that already.

How do I love these works? Well, let's do things a little !@#$ing backwards, today, son -- SPYGOD Style. 

1) It Shows Me Things I am !@#$ing Glad to See

It's always good to !@#$ing pick one of these up, look through the !@#$ table of contents, and see that this year's guest editor agreed with me on some very !@#$ing important things. McCloud makes a joke about how if Chris Ware, Charles Burns, or Daniel Clowes puts something out in any given year, you can bet your !@#$ it'll turn up in the appropriate Best American Comics, and this time they got !@#$ing two out of three.

"Next time, Inspector Gadget... next time... Muhhahahah"

But aside from (two of) those three gentle, totally !@#$ed-up giants of American comics, there's lots of other things that got printed in that same timeframe (Sept 1st, 2012 to August 31st, 2013) that, having !@#$ing read them, I deeply dug, and hoped to see honored. And this is my reward to myself for having had such excellent !@#$ing taste -- seeing that the likes of Scott McCloud agreed with me. 

(Yes, it's somewhat masturbatory, son, but !@#$ you. I take this !@#$ seriously.)

2) It Shows Me Things I !@#$ing Missed

SPYGOD reads a lot of !@#$ing comics. And SPYGOD knows all. But even SPYGOD does not have the !@#$ing time to read, or be exposed, to every single !@#$ing piece of comic art that tumbles out of America in any given year. The massive explosion of web comics alone makes that !@#$ing impossible, even for someone like me.

(And then there's the issue of whether I !@#$ing understand that what I'm seeing is a !@#$ing comic, and not just some weird thing I ran across online. We'll get into that when we talk about the Kuiper Belt.)

So reading something like Best American Comics is an eye-opener in more ways than one. It constantly exposes me to amazing new !@#$ that I wouldn't have !@#$ing known about unless I saw it there. In that sense, it operates like a lot of modern art magazines: you don't know for sure if that giant !@#$ing toilet you saw walking down the street the other week was a hallucination, a new supervillain, some performance piece gone awry unless you know the right people, or just an out-of-season Halloween costume. But if you don't know the right !@#$ people, and don't happen to go to certain !@#$ galleries, the only !@#$ way you're going to learn about that artist's lonely cry against the widespread enslavement and degradation of our porcelain brothers and sisters is if you !@#$ing read something about it.

"Today, 5th Avenue. Tomorrow, MOMA. Suck it, !@#$es!"

And that's what Best American Comics does for me, every !@#$ing year.

3) It !@#$ing Exists, Period

Just that, son. But let me quote Kartalopoulos at length:

"Comics are fortunate to have been included in the Best American series for a number of reasons. For one thing, Comics' ongoing inclusion in a larger project that also recognizes outstanding short fiction, essays, and more reaffirms comics' important and coequal status among culturally significant literary forms. Additionally, while networked technology has wonderfully democratized expressions of opinions, taste, and critical analysis ... the Best American Comics, by virtue of its careful process, lush presentation, and visibility, articulates a particularly forceful notion of critical distinction that, at its best, can elevate the field."

Which is a fancy way of saying "You made it. This is proof. Now go make more art."

* * *

Now, as for the overall presentation? This year was especially !@#$ing excellent. I loved having Jaime Hernandez on the cover, and I was thrilled as whipped otter !@#$ to have Raina Telgemeier do the endpapers as, essentially, a perfect two-panel story that's both emblematic of her work and the series as a whole. (When you read it, you'll see what I !@#$ing mean.)

I also really liked how McCloud divided the !@#$ book up. Rather than have one, primary introduction, followed by the selections, which is how just about everyone does it*, he broke the selections down into logical subsections, and then put a separate introduction for each section. So we get a short introduction, followed by smaller pieces for such things as Great Comics are Not a Genre, Memory Boxes, Family Tree, Strange Adventures, and (my favorite name for my least-favorite kind of work) The Kuiper Belt.

And then we have the entries, themselves. Keep in mind that, as you may have !@#$ing noticed by now, I have my own strong opinions on this !@#$. So what they liked, I might not like, and if I don't mention one of your favorite !@#$ing things, well, don't cry. It's in there, after all. 

(And what the !@#$ do I know, anyway?)

Don't shoot, Rob. Someday I'll like your new stuff. Really.

What I am Glad to See:

The Hive, Charles Burns: 

Jesus !@#$ing Christ, son. What else is there to !@#$ing say about this, especially now that Burns has completed this trilogy with the publication of Sugar Skull? The selection they chose for this book really highlights the jumbled-up nature of the narrative -- showcasing the pervasive, thick-as-!@#$ sense of dread that this whole series had leaking from its pores like surreal !@#$ing pus. You probably !@#$ing knew it was going to make it in here, but this portion helps show why. 

Saga, Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples:

At last, an honor worthy of this superior title! If you've been digging Saga all along, I'm sure you'll agree that this portion -- a darkly humorous take on the age-old ritual of meeting the parents -- is as good a piece as any to showcase the writing and art on this work. And if you haven't been reading it, this excerpt from issue 7 will hopefully sell you on the concept. Go grab the first trade paperback and tell 'em SPYGOD !@#$ing sent you. 

Crime Raiders International Mobsters and Executioners, Jaime Hernandez:

You didn't know Love and Rockets was back? Well !@#$, son, where the !@#$ have you been hiding? This story from #5 has all the hallmarks of this brother Hernandez: winsome but !@#$ed-up ladies and gentlemen in search of a better !@#$ situation, who often make bad choices for good reasons (and vice !@#$ing versa), starring in storylines that intersect at weird !@#$ angles and lead to states of emotional, social, and legal confusion. Jaime says he does his best to avoid letting things turn into genre pieces? Read this and you'll see a master of !@#$ing unclassifiable masterpieces at work.

This is me getting you to read Love and Rockets. Don't make me get the gun.

Drama, Raina Telgemeier:

How do you follow up on something as astoundingly good as Smile? You tell a story about a high school drama club, with all its interpersonal ups and downs, romantic entanglements, moments of sexual confusion and discovery, and tiny victories over life, circumstance, and the fact that The Show Is All. There's sweet and saccharine in this graphic novel, which, while it's aimed at young adults, is one of those works that cuts across age lines and reminds us all of what a !@#$ing sweet nightmare our teenage years could be. Just !@#$ing read it, and grab Sisters while you're at it. 

March, Book One, Rep. John Lewis, Andrew Aydin, and Nate Powell:

It's one thing to know that Rep. John Lewis is the last of the American Civil Rights Movement's "Big Six" left alive. It's another to know that, out of everyone who spoke in the 1963 March on Washington -- where Rev. Martin Luther King gave his "I Have a Dream" speech -- he's the only one still walking the Earth. But when I read this piece of his ongoing biographic work (Part 2 comes out January 2015), and saw his first meeting with MLK, as a young man wanting to help desegregate a college? Goosebumps, son -- all the way up and down my @#$ back. That and sadness as I read further, and saw that, when he got home, his parents just didn't dare help him with that part of the journey, for fear of what might happen to their home, their work, and their lives if word got around that their son was causing so much trouble.

It was reading a comic book that got him here, believe it or not.

Some people like to !@#$ing forget that, within a human lifetime, this kind of !@#$ was a concern. Some people want us to forget, because they really don't want to talk about its lasting consequences. And some people think that racism doesn't still impact lives all over the nation. !@#$ them. Read March.

Depression Part 2,  Hyperbole and a Half:

What? You haven't been reading this webcomic? Shame on you, son. In addition to being funny as !@#$, it's also filled with the kind of naked honesty you usually only get to hear after someone's had one !@#$ drink too many, and is about to !@#$ all over the bar, shoot the ceiling lamps out, and confess to having shot Abraham Lincoln with time-bullets. And no one needs to deal with that kind of !@#$ just to hear a raw, human confession of being broken, and trying to figure it the !@#$ out.

I've known a whole lot of people with depression in my time. This is, bar none, the best !@#$ explanation I've ever heard. I wish I'd read it ages ago. You'll be !@#$ing glad you've read it now, and gladder still that this amazing writer is getting her due in this series.,

Cul de Sac, Richard Thompson:

Yes, it's a re-run of his previous stuff that just happened to fall within those dates. But you know what? As McCloud readily admits, this teensy little movement of the goalposts is worthy, given that Thompson's excellent work has been so cruelly smacked down by !@#$ing Parkinsons. And his work is truly amazing, heart-affirming stuff. For this collection, they chose the final week's worth of strips, along with a final Sunday that brilliantly encapsulates both comics and the strip, itself. Go buy his !@#$ book and see why we are poorer people for not having this strip in the paper every !@#$ day.

I'd also like to mention, in passing, that McCloud did give some love for one of the big two comic companies by recommending Hawkeye, which is done by Matt Fraction and normally drawn by David Aja. Marvel apparently wouldn't allow Best American to feature a snippet in this year's edition, due to legal !@#$ not worthy of mention here**. But I'm sure you can !@#$ing find a copy and read it.

Speaking of finding copies and reading it, we're on to...

What I Want to See More Of:

 ... where I admit I got !@#$ing blindsided by some awesome !@#$ that, having had a little taste, I now must read in its entirety.

Multiple Warheads, Brandon Graham:

Holy sweet Jesus riding a snowflake into Hell with a machine gun! This is, bar none, some of the trippiest, most creative, head-over-heels weird narratives I've seen in some time -- easily an equal to works like Finder, only maybe more screwy. What could just be a long and deadly trip across a surreal and dangerous future landscape becomes an exercise in massive creativity, wordplay, and worldbuilding. There isn't anything in here that wasn't clearly thought out, and crafted to make me !@#$ing want to know more. Excellent !@#$, son. Truly.

I think I got "gold," son.

Translated, from the Japanese, Adrian Tomine:

I've loved Tomine's work since I read Shortcomings on a lark, and went back to find out where this adept chronicler of racial, sexual, and social hangups in an urban setting had !@#$ing come from. This short little piece of storytelling from the diary of a young mother, taking her mixed-race son to America to meet the father, is something new from him, but his eye for people's strange fixations and reasonable concerns that turn toxic over time is here to see. I think I need to get this issue of Optic Nerve. 

"Mom" from Viewotron, Sam Sharpe:

Goofy anthropomorphisms aside, this one really got to me. The story of a man trying to reconnect with his clearly-unwell mother, and how she starts sliding down the crazy stairs in front of him, is sad and haunting. It's one of those pieces where you read it and then really want to know what the !@#$ happened next, but at the same time are kind of !@#$ing afraid to open up that door. You know it's not going to shut well. Not at all.

August 1977, Nina Bunjevac:

This is yet another one where the piece was so !@#$ing amazing that it's still haunting me. Somehow a story about a would-be bomber's last letter to his family (prior to being blown the !@#$ up) is transformed into a crazy-as-!@#$ hallucinogenic critique on a certain, Eastern European country's socio-religious issues, complete with some very strange visuals. And on top of all that, the art is !@#$ing fantastic.

You don't normally get giant doom-hooters at hate rallies.

Hip Hop Family Tree, Ed Piskor

This one's a queer kettle of fish, son. Speaking as someone who was around when the art form came together, this take on it doesn't quite pass the !@#$ sniff test. But then, it isn't really !@#$ing supposed to, either. It's like Rock & Roll Comics meets Love and Rockets, tossing enough true stories and odd anecdotes into the mix while casting the creators and soldiers of Hip Hop as urban heroes trying to keep it real, pay their bills, and not get shanked by their fans. It's a trip, son, and if you're a music fan you need to be on it.

"Canadian Royalty" from Lose, Michael Deforge

McCloud put this in his Even Stranger Adventures section, and that's putting it !@#$ing mildly, son. A brilliantly brutal and surreal exploration of a Canada you didn't know existed, complete with a fully-realized (and totally OTT) royal family, this selection from Lose is like being given a travelogue of an alien world that exists just north of !@#$ing Montana, and apparently has better TV than we do. Deforge clearly needs to pass me what he's using, because this !@#$ is brilliant.

And you think Prince Charles had it bad?

Hyperspeed to Nowhere, Lale Westvind

At last, we find something in McCloud's !@#$ing Kuiper Belt (as in, really far out there in space) that I actually kind of dug. Usually, I can't get excited by really "out there" !@#$ that melts the standards of the art form, rather than allowing the weird to exist within it (or at least play around with it). But this colorful, hyperkinetic work tickled my inner Jack Kirby enough that I was willing to roll with it, and demand more. I'm sure you will, too.

And by now, I think I've !@#$ing talked this thing up enough. I've got some comics to !@#$ing track down, son. And you have a new book you should check out as soon as possible.

Like now.

SPYGOD's Verdict: Three thumbs up for yet another intriguing showcasing of work from old stalwarts, new talent, and faces we don't see nearly enough of. The new series editor is promising, and McCloud's editorial choices are excellent and well-considered. Like any collection, there will be some things that will astound you, others that bore you, and some that simply defy description, but all of them have something to show why they were judged to be The Best.

The Best American Comics 2014 -- Get it at your local comic store!

* That said, they still have yet to beat Lynda Barry's illustrated introduction for the 2008 edition, which was, as with most things she does, sheer !@#$ing genius. And I'm still !@#$ing mad that DC Comics wouldn't let her put Paul Pope's Batman Year 100 in there, because of stupid legal !@#$. !@#$ you, DC -- in the !@#$ nose.

** And !@#$ you too, Marvel. In the other !@#$ nose. 

10/7/14 - Leaving Megalopolis (Dark Horse)

People often !@#$ing ask me what the worst part of my job is. And I have to tell you, son, there's a lot of !@!# I have to do that's pretty !@#$ing sad and disgusting.

Most days I can just grin and !@#$ing bear it until I get home, have them send up Thai food and ladyboys, and then spend the whole !@#$ evening using every mind-altering substance known to man and Mars to !@#$ing nuke my brain good and hard, until I pass the !@#$ out around 4:47 in the god!@#$ AM... and then get up in less than an hour an a half to do it all the !@#$ over again.

!@#$ you !@#$ you !@#$ !@#$ !@#$!!!!

That's most days, son. But then there are days that I have to !@#$ing answer the Black Telephone.

Yes, son. It's a black telephone. It's big, it's heavy, and it's got a rotary dial. And when that !@#$er rings you can hear it all over the god!@#$ B.U.I.L.D.I.N.G. like it was right next to your ear.

If that mother!@#$ing thing is ringing, it means I have to go do the other, much less pleasant part of my !@#$ing job. It means that someone, somewhere, has had the mother of all bad !@#$ing days and finally snapped. Or maybe it means that someone we thought we knew, and could trust, just turned out to have one !@#$ of a dark secret, or had really been bad all along.

And it means that I need to get the largest gun I can !@#$ing find, put on a black rubber dress, and go kill a superhero.

Eh, don't worry. He's an X-Man. He'll be back.

Yes, it's !@#$ing harsh. Yes, it's !@#$ing sad. But you know why I have to !@#$ing do this, son.

See, when ordinary people !@#$ing break, well, maybe they just sit in a ball and cry, and maybe they off themselves. And maybe, if we're really !@#$ing unlucky, they off a few other people before they go.

But when you're dealing with someone who can !@#$ing fly, throw cars like beach balls, and shoot god!@#$ mind-bullets at people three miles away? Well, son, when they break, they tend to break hard, and take a lot of innocent bystanders with them.

And sometimes I get !@#$ing lucky, and we get advanced warning, and we can talk them the !@#$ down before anyone else gets hurt. But the rest of the time? It's me, a clocktower, and the mother of all god!@#$ sniper rifles, waiting for the wind to break just right. 

Because the alternative really !@#$ing sucks for ordinary folks.

I've had to do it exactly thirty-two !@#$ing times, over the years. I can tell you the names, dates, and exact times I've pulled the trigger. The first one was Johnny Appleseed, on December 18th, 1949, at around 3:39 in the PM, California time. And the last one was Rockethand, on May 12th, 2011, at 4:25 in the PM, also California time.

And whenever I have to do it, I take the !@#$ day off, and go to a special room in the B.U.I.L.D.I.N.G that no one !@#$ing knows about but me. I take a nice photo of the person I just turned into a !@#$ing red cloud from the neck up, and put it on the wall with all the others I've done. And I !@#$ing sit there, the rest of the night, and tell them I'm sorry.

And I do it sober, son, because I want it to !@#$ing mean something. Because it does. Because it should. 

So, as you might guess, I'm pretty !@#$ critical when it comes to tales of heroes gone !@#$ing bad. If you're going to go that route, then you !@#$ well better do it right. Don't start off grim and gritty and turn into a !@#$ing self-parody that goes on way too !@#$ long for its own good. But then don't start off slapstick and go all serious with me at the end, either.

And you'd better !@#$ing show these crazed, broken capes some !@#$ing respect for their pain, too.

Who will weep for these insane, homicidal Supers...?

Luckily for all involved (though not surprisingly, given who's involved) Dark Horse's Leaving Megalopolis handles the matter rather !@#$ing well. It asks what would happen if all the capes in a particular city all went ape!@#$ in the same way, and at the same time, leaving ordinary people trapped in their huge !@#$ing playpen of doom.

The answer is not !@#$ing pretty -- not at all. But it's testament to the writer/artist combination that it doesn't turn into a mega-depressing, soulless survival horror bloodbath or a sappy Hallmark afterschool special with dark moments. I'd expect no less from the creative team that brought me Secret Six for all those wonderful years (until the New 52 went and !@#$ed it all up) but, I will admit that, when I heard about this Kickstarter project, I was a little concerned.

But no worries, son. This is how the !@#$ would go down, if it did go down. And hopefully it never will.

The story's pretty !@#$ing straightforward. The city of Megalopolis, once renowned for all its heroes, is now a !@#$ing horror story. Something black and terrible happened, there, one day, and as a result all the superheroes in town have gone bad. And not the camp and cackling, 1970's Superfriends reverse-Earth superman bad, either, either, but !@#$ing sick, Kid Miracleman, homicidal butchery bad.

Welcome to Hell, Son. Buy a !@#$ing postcard.

There are still people, here in Megalopolis. Some have hunkered down and tried to make the best of a really !@#$ing bad situation, and others have done other, less humane things to get by. But while it's pretty !@#$ing obvious that no one can get out, there are those who still !@#$ing try. 

So this is the story of one group: a small band of people who just sort of come together by !@#$ing accident, and decide they've got to make it out of here alive. It won't be easy, especially since they keep gaining and losing people as they go along. But if they can step carefully, stick to the plan, and avoid making too much !@#$ing noise, then maybe they can escape.

But as hard as they think it's going to be? It's going to be even harder. There's nasty surprises around every !@#$ corner, and some things you just won't believe lurking in the shadows. That and there's really no way they can just tiptoe around some of these superpowered freaks.

Worst of all, the biggest threat to the plan may come from within...

So how do I love Leaving Megalopolis? 2.5 Thumbs worth, Son. And let me tell you the ways, SPYGOD Style:

1) The Writing

I'm just going to !@#$ing gush like an 80's gay boy at his first Frankie Goes to Hollywood concert, son. I love, love, love me some Gail Simone. Girlfriend can do no wrong in my eyes, and when she gets a chance to just let the ball drop, you better get the !@#$ out of the way, because she is taking no prisoners.

All that gush aside? What makes Leaving Megalopolis so good for me is the god!@#$ characters. Any schmuck with a general sense of antipathy for humanity and its social structures, and an understanding of how people !@#$ing break under pressure can write survival horror. But it takes someone who !@#$ing understands how people work to make us actually !@#$ing care.

Better still? It takes someone like Gail Simone, who spent several amazing years making us !@#$ing care about god!@#$ Supervillains to ultimately make us feel something for the heroes gone bad, here. And it isn't just what happened to them, either. There's one very telling moment, close to the end, where you'll feel something pull really !@#$ hard on your heart.

(And if you think I'm going to !@#$ing tell you what it is, you're nuts, son. Just !@#$ing read it.)

2) The Art

Doing supers gone bad is a tough !@#$ing thing. You can't be too "super" or it all gets lost in a post-Kirby scrum, but if it winds up looking like the !@#$ing Walking Dead in spandex, something's lost in translation. Things like Marshall Law and the first Marvel Zombies worked because there''s something more than a little "off" about the art, while the art on The Boys works because Darick Robertson goes for a more realistic direction, which supports the grittiness of the story.

So when I say that Jim Calafiore's work reminds me a lot of Robertson's early work on The Boys, before he started easing up on his detail work? I mean that as a high !@#$ing complement. It makes it all work -- allowing for super-powered !@#$ to co-exist along with more gruesome things, and not seem out of place.

"Stick out your tush / wiggle a bit / give it a push / don't be surprised, you're doing the French Mistake!"

Which is really good, because that helps establish...


3) The Situation

No, not that gel-creamed douchebag from that !@#$ing reality show I refuse to say the !@#$ name of, son. I'm talking about the setting. What's happened in Megalopolis since the !@#$ went down. And what's happened outside the city, too, which becomes really !@#$ing important, later.

Like I said, earlier, people break in funny !@#$ ways. Look at what happens in a city under siege in wartime. Look at what happens when people run out of !@#$ing food, for that matter. People turn into !@#$ing animals, just to survive. And that is never !@#$ing pretty.

Leaving Megalopolis has it all. People who !@#$ing prey upon one another. People who decide to worship their oppressors rather than !@#$ing resist them. People who look the other !@#$ way while horrible things happen, because the only alternative is to be made an example of. And people who, in spite of the consequences, decide they've !@#$ing had enough, and try to get out.

Even if it means they're probably going to !@#$ing die, anything would be better than living there.

I've seen this !@#$ happen before, son, and Simone !@#$ing nailed it. And while she doesn't talk enough about what's going on outside of it (the only reason I had to not give this work Three Thumbs up) we get enough to establish that someone out there made some tough, seemingly-inhumane decisions in order to keep the situation from spreading.

Which is what always !@#$ing happens, if anyone has any !@#$ sense.

SPYGOD's Verdict: Two and a half thumbs up for a harrowing but all-too-human tale of what happens when supermen go off the rails and turn a city into a butcher's playpen. Ace storytelling, dead-on character studies, and excellent art choices keep this from turning into another dreary survival horror piece. I want to see more, but I'm kind of afraid to, also.

Leaving Megalopolis - get the hardcover at your local comic store!