8/15/14 - All New Invaders, Vol. 1 - Gods and Soldiers (Marvel)

One of the weird !@#$ things about having been in costume back in the War, and still !@#$ing being around, is that you never know when some piece of unfinished business from back in those crazy !@#$ days is going to rear the !@#$ up, open its big !@#$ mouth, and try to bite you in the !@#$.

I mean, you know this, right? You've heard me go on about ABWEHR, and all the ridiculous !@#$ they got up to at the end of the War, and then the 50's, the 60's, the 70's... on and on and !@#$ing on until I finally decided to kick their !@#$es one last time, just the other year.

And even then, how do I know something they didn't put into motion decades ago won't explode in my face? How do I know all their doomsday devices are !@#$ing defused? How do I know all the !@#$ we did back then is really over and done with?

How deep do you have to bury the past before it stays !@#$ing buried?

I wish I knew what to tell you, son. What I can tell you, however, is that it is !@#$ing true what they say about old soldiers. We don't die - we just fade away.

But when you fade away, there's always the chance that you might just fade the !@#$ back, someday, and go kick some !@#$.

Which is one of the reasons why I really !@#$ing appreciate the All New Invaders title that Marvel's putting out, as it perfectly captures the weirdness of what happens when crazy !@#$ from six or seven !@#$ing decades ago comes slipping back up to you, while you're just trying to repair cars in Podunk, Nebraska, and kill your !@#$ for god!@#$ Hitler, or someone.

Which is sort of what happens to Jim Hammond, at the start of our story...

Wait. What's that, son? Who's Jim Hammond? 

Well, before I beat you with a sack full of big !@#$ hammers for forgetting, I'd tell you to rewatch Captain America, yet again, and pay special attention to the exhibition they go to, at the start. This time, don't wait for the !@#$ flying car. Look for the man in the tube marked THE SYNTHETIC MAN.

Yes, son. This guy.

That's Jim Hammond -- the god!@#$ original Human Torch. The flaming, flying hero who fought Nazis and assorted scum back in World War II alongside the original Invaders: Captain America, Bucky, Namor, and his equally-fiery sidekick Toro.

Now, thanks to recent events in the Marvel universe, Jim's back in the world, once more, but would rather just find a quiet, folksy town in a small corner of it than suit up again. After everything that happened, he feels like he doesn't have the right to use his powers and call himself a hero -- not until he figures out who and what he is, anyway.

Of course, that's when someone comes along and tries to !@#$ up his !@#$, because that's how life works in four-color world. 

"Stop! Hammer time!" "That's not funny, lady..."

Before Hammond knows it, some giant blue woman with a big !@#$ hammer (and a bigger mouth) is beating him down, and using some weird-!@#$ gun to make him remember something he'd forgotten a long !@#$ time ago. A weird mission with the Invaders that involved only him, Bucky, and Namor, and put them up against Nazis and the Asgardian Goddess of Death, herself. Turns out the goose-stepping set had gotten their hands on something called a God Whisperer, which let them command, you guessed it, Gods.

Of course, they won the fight. They are the Invaders, after all. But they couldn't destroy this super-powerful weapon, and didn't dare hand it over to anyone. So they broke it into three parts, each of them hid a piece, and then they had their memories removed by one of their stranger colleagues. End of story... or so they !@#$ing thought.

But now the Kree know about the God Whisperer, and want it for their own purposes. And by now we know all too well that nothing that comes out of Supremor's big !@#$ green head is good for anyone but the Kree Empire.

And that means that, whether he likes it or not, Jim's going to have to put on his big boy briefs, flame the !@#$ on, and get the band back together again. Only this time, instead of mashing super nazis behind enemy lines, they're going to have to invade a whole !@#$ing Empire...

"Hey, we're totally available if you need help. Call our agent."

Marvel has a lot of really good series going on right now. So when I say that All New Invaders is one of the best ones, and one you should make a monthly pull? That's !@#$ing saying something.

But let me break it down for you:

1) James Robinson

If I had to trust anyone to handle heroes who've been around since the 1940's, James Robinson is that man. His work on DC's The Golden Age, Justice Society of America, and, of !@#$ing course, Starman, proved he's got a handle on the time, the people, and the passions that led them, good or bad.

But better than that? The man knows how to !@#$ing tell an ensemble story. Face time is balanced, people have distinct personalities and goals, and all the characters get their big !@#$ moments to shine in a plot that twists, turns, and folds the !@#$ back on itself to a slam bang, open-ended conclusion.

He also has a genius for bringing in people from out of left field that make sense, and give old-school fans something to cheer about -- especially when we get the feeling we'll be seeing them again, really !@#$ soon...

2) Steve Pugh

I've been following this guy for some time, now. When he was doing gruesome inktastic expressionism on Hellblazer and Animal Man, back in the 90's, his work seemed blocky and overdone, but it suited those books amazingly well. Over time, his work got tighter,and better-defined, but his excellent grotesque sensibilities got even better -- so much so that when he returned to Animal Man, for the reboot, he helped make that title the powerhouse it currently is.

With All New Invaders, he's !@#$ing knocking it out of the !@#$ park. Thanks in part to the excellent color art (hat tip to Guru-efx) his work is supple, full, and well-defined. And when he gets a chance to cut loose and do something squidgy and weird (Like the God Whisperer, itself, or the (CLASSIFIED) Hammond will be fighting early in the next collection), the results are !@#$ing astounding. The Kree have never looked better, Cap looks like a !@#$ing tank on legs, and Namor is... well, Namor is. Let's put it that way. 

"I hafff de powerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!"

3) Jim Hammond

Yes, there I am getting kind of !@#$ing nostalgic, again. But having the original Human Torch back in the Marvel Universe has been a big !@#$ special treat, both for old school folks like myself and for people who are just discovering him as a character. He's our decent, everyman reluctant hero with a lot of !@#$ red to make up for, and the lens we're seeing this murky corner of the world through. He's also a massive self-questioning figure, as he's not certain if he's human, synthetic, or what, which makes for a lot of !@#$ing story and character potential.

SPYGOD's VERDICT: Three Thumbs Up for a well-written, amazingly-drawn series that takes an old team and puts it through some new and exciting adventures. You should make this a monthly pull, son. No arguments.

All New Invaders, Vol. 1: Gods and Soldiers -- get it at your local comic store!