11/04/14 - The Walking Dead - Vol. 22: A New Beginning (Image)

Now, you've heard me !@#$ing talk about war, son. The War, Korea, Vietnam... !@#$, wars you never even !@#$ing heard of because they were secret, transdimensional, or got lost in some !@#$ing timeshift. 

Some are big !@#$ affairs, some are pretty !@#$ small. Some are smart, and some are !@#$ing stupid. Some take years, and some take days. And some even take just !@#$ing minutes, especially these days when so much warfare is !@#$ing computerized. 

(What, you think those Heptagon computers just hacked themselves?)

But there's one thing I can almost !@#$ing guarantee in any war, son, other than people are going to !@#$ing die. And that's that at some point, when things start !@#$ing your battle plans in the ear and asking for a god!@#$ reach-around, some !@#$hole with more smarts than sense is going to ask why they don't just reanimate the dead and send them off to fight, too.

Now, me, I shut that bull!@#$ up real !@#$ing quick. With a big !@#$ gun that says "For Use If Some !@#$hole Wants to Unleash a !@#$ing Zombie Apocalypse."

Also !@#$ useful for hailing a !@#$ cab in !@#$ing New Jersey at 3 in the AM.

So why don't I want a big !@#$ mess of patriotic zombies staggering after America's enemies? It's not like they're doing anything else, other than turning cold in a makeshift morgue next to the !@#$ing airport, now is it?

Well, apart from the fact that it !@#$ing destroys morale faster than announcing there's no !@#$ coffee in the mess this morning, and the god!@#$ smell, and the hazards of trying to !@#$ing keep them under control before you use them, and massively bad potential for blowback when they start !@#$ing munching on civilians, or your own living soldiers...?

!@#$, son, I can't think of a single !@#$ reason. Can you?

(And yes, son, that was some big !@#$ patented SPYGOD SARCASM at work, there.)

But no, son. If biological warfare is a !@#$ bad thing. Necrobiological warfare is a big !@#$ !@#$ing bad thing that must be avoided at all god!@#$ costs. Kill it with fire before it !@#$ing catches any General's attention, and kill the !@#$ General if he starts to think it's a good idea.

Let's put it this way. Even the !@#$ing Nazis had the good sense not to resort to that tactic, even when Berlin was !@#$ing surrounded and the Third Reich was about to go down like a three-dollar Thai hooker on bad speed.

This did not happen. Ignore all evidence to the contrary.

(And as for who has resorted to that tactic, well... that's another !@#$ing story for another !@#$ing day.)

But I tell you that to clear the air on where I stand on using so-called "resuscitated casualties" in wartime. !@#$ that noise from on high with the biggest !@#$ gun you can !@#$ing find, son. In the ear. For America. 

However, in the time-honored tradition of escapism, as much as I !@#$ing hate zombies, I sure love reading about them. And that's why I've really been !@#$ing enjoying The Walking Dead, which, while it has to win the prize for "worst back page description of the book's true contents ever," has been a fairly solid title for the last few years. 

By this time, you know what's going to happen when you crack the !@#$ cover. Rick will make bad decisions that seemed smart at the time. Others will grumble and go along with it, only to lose faith in him when things turn to !@#$ and people die. When he realizes they were !@#$ing right all along, he'll make amends and change his mind, things will get better. And then the next !@#$ crisis will come along, and the cycle will !@#$ing repeat itself.

(And, yes, Carl will !@#$ing sneak off and do something !@#$ stupid. Because that's how he rolls.)

"Hmmm... how can I ruin things for everyone today...?"

But here's a good !@#$ question, son: how the !@#$ do you top the All Out War storyline, which had Rick and his alliance narrowly winning out over the loathsomely charismatic Nagan, after several strategic fumbles by Rick, and possibly achieving some kind of peaceful, permanent settlement at last?

The answer is something I didn't !@#$ing see coming. You bring the story forward quite a few years, and reveal that Rick's small band of people have come out of that war stronger. In spite of all they've suffered, or maybe because of it, they've developed a static community. 

They have soldiers and scouts, bakers and blacksmiths, and everyone seems to have a garden going, somewhere. They've figured out a way to actually herd the dead, too, which keeps them away from their front gates.  

Of course, the herding isn't without its hazards. It just so happens they drive the !@#$ing ocean of rotten meat into a small band of survivors, whom they take under their wing and back to the community. And while everyone seems happy to see them (though certain suspicions are hard to shake) the newcomers seem quite convinced that this all seems too perfect, and that there must be a catch, somewhere...

"Hey, didn't the Library of Alexandria burn down?" "Holy !@#$, we're doomed."

Now, does that sound !@#$ing familiar or what? 

There's more I could say, but I'm not going to. It's enough to say that if you've been a longtime fan of this series, A New Beginning will prove a !@#$ enjoyable read, filled with the same kind of thrills, chills, drama, and sense of impending doom you've come to expect from The Walking Dead, plus some genuine shocks and surprises.

But let me break it down for you, SPYGOD Style: 

1) The Writing: 

Like I said above, you know what you're going to get, by now. The people you love and care about will come under fire, and possibly die. The people you want to smarten up won't, the people you wish would get a clue only do after someone's had their !@#$ing face eaten off. And as soon as you think everything's settled and stable, someone, somewhere, is going to find a way to !@#$ it up.

A New Beginning turns this dread up a notch by asking three massive questions: "Will this keep working?" "What the !@#$ happened?" and, most importantly, "How will this go !@#$ing wrong?"

To its credit, it does not answer all these questions at once. They carefully string you along, slowly revealing one character after another, and showing a little of what the intervening years has done. Some are better off, some are worse, some are about the same, and some are !@#$ing altogether absent, which is pretty !@#$ ominous in certain cases.

And as for the last question, remember that Nagan is still alive, down in that basement cell where Rick told him he'd be spending the rest of his days...

2) The Art:

Sometimes black and white art does not work with a story. The lack of color leaves the art washed out and thin, or else blocky. And when you have bad art in a graphic novel, well, that's just !@#$ing off-putting, son. It makes a great script seem less, and a mediocre script totally !@#$ty.

(Look at the treatment on Max Brooks' sadly so-so Harlem Hellfighters for an object lesson in the latter. Or, closer to home in this case, the first artist on this series, whose work seems almost cartoony in comparison.)

But sometimes it works amazingly well, and actually makes the story work better. Even in a situation where there's blood and guts flying everywhere, the black and white somehow add to the horror, rather than detract from it. In fact, it's a !@#$ing amazing testament to Charlie Adlard's skills that he can somehow make the grue even more compelling without color, as well as give us a feel of a world run down, where dirty people wade through !@#$ and gore to get through just another !@#$ day.

It's like having Albrecht Durer drop by every !@#$ month and do a triptych, son.

And that all adds up to...

3) The Dread: 

Yes, this is like the second or third !@#$ing time I've mentioned this, son. But I'm going to keep coming back to this !@#$ing point, because it's something that not a lot of horror comics can say.

You see, real horror is like real comedy: it's !@#$ing hard to pull off in any medium, much less a comic book. Anyone can horrify you with shocks, sicken you with gore, or succeed in making you so terrified that you're almost too !@#$ing scared to turn the !@#$ page. But is takes a special kind of writing prowess to make you !@#$ing care enough about the characters that you dread their possible demise, and must wade through the intervening awfulness to find out what happens next.

And that's the reason why, when I hear there's a new The Walking Dead TPB on the shelf, I drop whatever the !@#$ I'm doing and read it first. Because I have to know what happens. Because I am literally scared !@#$less for the characters.

Even the horse, son. Especially the horse.

 And even if I joke about Carl's favorite pastime of "do something really !@#$ stupid," I still want the poor, one-eyed son of a !@#$ to live through the experience.

So yes, son. The Walking Dead succeeds as a horror comic because it compels us to keep reading, in spite of our fears. The only other horror title I dropped everything for was the first Crossed series, back before the franchise was ruined by people who don't have a !@#$ing tenth of Garth Ennis' twisted talent.

I feel the same way about this series, and, coming from me, that's a high complement that you can frame on the !@#$ing wall.

SPYGOD's Verdict: Three thumbs up for a new trick from a reliable, old dog of a title that may not have many issues left, but is going to drag its fans along for every last foot of it with its superior writing and amazing art. A New Beginning shakes up the status quo and makes just that much more scared to read it, but unable to look away.

The Walking Dead  Vol 22: A New Beginning - get the trade paperback at your local comic store!