11/18/14 - 100 Bullets Book One (DC/Vertigo)

I've been playing this big !@#$ spy game for a long !@#$ing time, now, son. I've seen things you wouldn't !@#$ing believe, been places you've never even thought of, met people you never !@#$ing heard of, and done some things you really don't want to !@#$ing know about.

And that's just before breakfast, most days. 

So if there's one thing I can say with some degree of truth (other than trust no one, don't bring a knife to a !@#$ing gunfight, never trust your handler any further than you could spit his !@#$ing corpse, and do not eat the house special if you can't speak the language) it's that while it's true that the one thing more dangerous than a foreign agent is a turned agent, it's also true that a rogue agent is ten times as !@#$ing dangerous than the two of them put together.

Why? Well, consider this.

Your average foreign agent? He's either a fixture in the embassy, pretending to be a !@#$ secretary's secretary, or else hiding in a !@#$ing rented office, somewhere, pretending to be part of some new foreign business getting set up a stones' throw from some government building. In either case, they spend their day getting the morons they promised money, a new life, and a !@#$ lap dance with someone from !@#$ing Baywatch to do what they want, but otherwise they're as useless as !@#$s on a horse, unless you're into that sort of thing.

And some of you clearly !@#$ing are.

Tradecraft? Some, obviously. But he doesn't do hardcore superspy James Bond !@#$ because he knows he'll get !@#$ing caught, unless he's obscenely lucky. The most cloak and dagger he'll do is set up clandestine talks with his Harolds, arrange a dead-drop, and be ready to burn the whole site and arrange to have his stooges capped by some really scary gorilla of a cleaner if the situation goes nose down and butt up, right into a sea of !@#$.

And your average turned agent? Well, yeah, they're dangerous because they have all the !@#$ing toys, know where the bodies are buried, and can fix !@#$ to happen the way their new paymasters want things to go. But in the end, they're playing a really !@#$ dangerous game, serving two masters they can't let know about each other. This hamstrings their effectiveness quite a bit, as you might !@#$ing imagine.

Once voted "most likely to get !@#$ing caught"

But let's consider the rogue agent, for a bit.

Supposing someone decides, for whatever !@#$ reason, that they're going to take all the knowledge, know-how, and resources at their disposal to go do things they want to do, for reasons of their own? Supposing they do missions their way, and get results, but don't tell their bosses all the !@#$ that really went down because they have their own agenda? Supposing they don't have to share that agenda with a foreign power that's got its own agenda, unless getting into bed with them was the idea all along?

And supposing this self-serving !@#$ goes on for years, maybe even decades, before they drop the mother of all !@#$ing mikes behind them as they slink out the back door, never to be seen again?

Oddly enough, he looks nothing like Sam Neill

Someone like that is massively dangerous, son. At least a foreign agent can be uncovered, depantsed, and either sent back home or vanished. At least a turned agent can be uncovered when the stories get a little too !@#$ing thin on one or both sides, and dealt with accordingly. But if you've got someone who knows how the system works, and makes it work for them so !@#$ing skillfully that no one has any !@#$ idea that they're crooked?

Well, you could be in for a lot of bad !@#$ in your face when the fan finally starts to go around. And that's all I'm going to say about that, at least not without a big !@#$ing drink in my hand.

But while I do have such a drink within reach, let me tell you one more thing. And that's that the only thing more dangerous than a rogue agent is a rogue agent that everyone thinks is !@#$ing dead.

"That sounds like my cue to come into this review..."

And on that note, let me introduce you to Agent Graves, and then tell you why 100 Bullets was one of the best graphic novels about a rogue agent that I've ever !@#$ing read.

He's !@#$ old, he's well-dressed, and he has steel in his !@#$ing eyes. He reminds you of an old pair of shoes that still work, in spite of all the years, but that you're sort of afraid to wear. And he has a commanding presence, a keen turn of phrase, and the best come-on line you may ever hear: "How would you like to kill someone and get away with it?"

Now, that might not mean a whole !@#$ of a lot to you. But supposing you're someone who had a life, and lost it? Supposing you're someone who has a massive !@#$ing injustice perpetrated upon you, and can't get back up to where you were because what's stacked against you is too tall to climb, and too connected to touch? What if you got screwed by unseen forces, and had to deal with the bad hand you got !@#$ing handed?

And then suppose you are given a briefcase, containing incontrovertible evidence of how you got done wrong, and who did it to you? Supposing also that this briefcase contained a gun, and 100 bullets? And supposing that no matter what you did with those bullets, no police or federal agency could contain or control you for more than a day or so, and they'd just let you go, all charges dropped?

"What do you do? What do you do?"

That's how this all starts. But as you read through the stories in this first, reprinted volume of the series, it soon becomes clear there is lot more going on that some urban Santa Claus handing out revenge instead of toy cars, this Christmas.

A metric !@#$-ton of a lot more.

Because, as we meet the same characters from story arc to story arc, and we find out more and more about this secret, ultra-powerful world that has been existing right behind ours, all this time, it becomes clear that all this !@#$ is connected.

Graves isn't just handing out justice to people who got !@#$ed over. He's got a grand design in mind, and if ordinary people get used to make it happen, well... !@#$ it, and !@#$ them.

"No need to ask / He's a smooth operator."

That, in a nutshell, is 100 Bullets, and, at last, DC/Vertigo is re-releasing it, the same way they're doing with Swamp Thing, Lucifer, and Preacher -- putting out larger trade paperbacks that combine at least two (or one and a half) of the old format TPs. Which means everyone who missed out on this modern crime/conspiracy/intrigue classic can pick up 100 Bullets Book One, and finally see what all the !@#$ fuss is about. And those who sold their comics for beer money when they were young, stupid, and didn't know any !@#$ing better can finally redeem themselves.

So what can you look forward to? Well, I could tell you about the compelling characters, the heroes that aren't good and the villains that you love to hate, and the politico-criminal empire at the center of it all, but that would be !@#$ing telling.

But let me break it down for you, SPYGOD style:

1) The Storytelling.

Yes, son, I normally say "the writing." But Brian Azzarello has put this story together so !@#$ well I'm going to !@#$ing call it by its rightful name.

You see, any schmuck with a looming deadline can throw together a !@#$ing issue and then go on to the next one, the next one, and the next one after that. But there are a few people who can actually make a big !@#$ plan, some time in advance, and have it play out, month after month, so that all the pieces fit when you look back at it. And !@#$ing seamlessly at that.

What you get from all that work is a series that, while one got the feeling it went on a chapter or two too long, never ceased to amaze or puzzle. We stayed !@#$ing riveted as the plot thicked, and the pieces of Graves' invisible plan came together, flew apart, and remade themselves on the go. We were happy to see the bit players become major players, grow from their experiences, and grow on us readers. And while it seemed to take !@#$ing forever for the long-awaited final showdown to happen, it went down the only way it could, and rightly so.

And as for the villains, well, it's got plenty, and sometimes you don't know whether to cheer them on, weep for them, hope they got their clocks shot out, or all three at !@#$ing once.

And he ain't being !@#$ing metaphorical, son.

2) The Art

Eduardo Risso is a !@#$ing genius, son, and that's pretty much all there is to it. He brilliantly captured what this whole !@#$ing story was about for all those years, consistently getting better as he went along.

His layouts were well constructed, so that one frame seamlessly slid into another. His characterization was !@#$ing flawless, so that you only needed to take one look at the way he drew someone to know what they were all about. And he made every panel a !@#$ing crime noir party.

Not convinced, yet? Well, this is all that needs to be said:

You wouldn't argue with a high-rolling, smooth-talking mega-mobster with a gun, would you?


3) The Worldbuilding

Does this fall under storytelling? Maybe, maybe not. But the more you read this work, the more you come to be !@#$ing amazed at how much time Azzarello put into it.

It's like he figured out ahead of time what to tell us at every step of the way. We were informed in little pieces, but still kept aware that there was just so much we didn't know. And that kept us at the edge of our !@#$ing seats for each new revelation as Graves' twisted plan swept up, or aside, all these pieces of human wreckage that we came to love or hate, sometimes both.

Put it this way, son: as the story started to drag, several chapters down the way, I still had to !@#$ing know who someone was to whom, what was going on between them, and what that might mean in the larger picture, much less the final !@#$ing act. And I kept coming back, month after month, needing to know more.

Can you say anything better about a story? I !@#$ing think not.

SPYGOD's Verdict: Three mother!@#$ing thumbs up for the stunning, first act of a compelling, well-structured crime/conspiracy story that takes all the old noir conventions and turns either turns them on their ear or jacks their volume up to "earthshaking." The art is nothing less than amazing, the characters run deeper than you know, and the invisible connections between them all will have you re-reading this to see what you missed the first, second, and third times around. Truly excellent work.

100 Bullets Book One -- get the trade paperback at your local comic store!